Maybe I’m too simplistic about the real world implications of something like LIV Golf – the insidiousness of a very small and already authorized group of people, all too happy to take a big bag of money while ignoring the source and results of such a thing is probably exactly how our society ended up as screwed up as it is. And yet, every time I read or hear about another LIV-er losing their shit over something trivial and going to court to restore “her honor from him,” I can’t help but laugh. You can choke on petulance, but then the “P” in “PGA” probably stands for petulance.
Maybe it’s because we know the amount of money any big-name golfer made, and the idea that something as miniscule as the things they complain and sue people about can’t be saved by the obscene amounts of dirty money they’ve accepted. . it’s completely ridiculous. Even the idea that these shower canoes can’t play on the PGA Tour, or may be left out of major tournaments, isn’t the nine-figure fees he earned for literally keeping his oxygen intake not enough?
Patrick Reed is the last to shit himself, like is suing Golf Channel and commentator Brandon Chamblee for defamation, because Chamblee once called him a cheat during a tournament where Reed was penalized for…cheating. If he’s watched Golf Channel for more than four minutes, he knows it’s impossible to imagine anyone there saying anything more controversial than his preference for crackers, but here we are. Reed’s point is that, thanks to Chamblee’s comments, he was really heckled on the field! Him No wonder he stuffed his pants! Interrupted, you say!
I would invite Reed to play on the public course not far from my house, which is famous for having red-winged blackbirds attacking golfers on the last three holes and watching him choke on his own urine. Then maybe he wouldn’t feel so bad for the four golf fans in his time on the tour whose conversation Reed probably overheard rather than being actively interrupted. I’m not sure I know anyone who’s ever been to a golf tournament, but the ones I know who are capable just want to get drunk in the sun and maybe see if they can get a deal on a new set of irons. I wouldn’t recognize Patrick Reed if he rang my doorbell naked, and neither would most of America, which seems to be a prerequisite for giving him a shit while he works. If Reed has been interrupted, someone is likely to ask, “Who the hell are you?” or “Where’s Rory?”.
Reed isn’t the only member of the LIV cabal trying to cover up his name through lawsuits, though the others have been hit pretty hard so far. In a way, they are the perfect microcosm of the kind of people who are setting this country on fire. They’re the most pampered pro athletes out there, and most of them would crack your skull with their four-iron if they caught you sneezing on their backswing. They then chose to be even more pampered and not even have to compete for their stacks of money by defecting to LIV what-have-ya, regardless of where that money came from because hey, it’s money and they don’t know anyone. the saudis have killed and fuck you is money. And when the noise of them getting loud enough, they lashed out at everyone and everything because they were no longer being worshiped as before and still wanted all the privileges and opportunities they had just turned their backs on. They want it all and they think they deserve it. Even to the point where Reed is going to sue for being criticized for a tournament in which he was penalized. How dare he speak of what he has seen, Mr. Chamblee!
I hope the PGA Tour and LIV never come to detente, and we can watch these guys stamp their feet and throw their toys out of the pram forever. Then everyone will see them for what they are, not that it will matter much. These assholes always get what they want in the end.
If you’re looking for cracks in the Dodgers facade, and it’s really hard to see when a team leads the majors in both runs scored and runs allowed, here’s one:
With Clayton Kershaw unlikely to be back before the postseason, the Dodgers will be relying on a rotation that only has Julio Urias as a pitcher who isn’t way out over his skis in terms of amount of innings thrown. With Kimbrel’s waywardness (which he was as far back as 2018), the pen isn’t complete either. Y’know, if you need something.